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Top Small Things That Will Make You More Likable
Being likeable can get you far in life. This can make you a more attractive partner for members of the opposite sex, it can make you someone people want to work with and it can help you to get on better with friends and relatives. But of course it’s not easy. Tapping into what it is that makes a person likeable requires a bit of practice or it risks coming across as manipulative.
In this post, we’ll look at some of the top small changes you can make that will make you instantly more likeable.
Smile
Smiling goes a surprisingly huge way to making us more liked and there’s a few reasons for that. Firstly, If you smile in someone else’s company, then that suggests that you like their company and in turn, that is obviously a nice way to feel. At the same time, smiling actually makes other people smile. And when other people smile, this causes something called ‘facial feedback’ – a phenomenon wherein pulling a certain face will actually make you feel more than way.
If people feel good whenever they’re around you because being around you leads to smiling, then they’ll associate being near you with being happy – and that of course will only make you more likeable!
Be Polite
Did your Mum ever tell you that manners cost nothing? Well it’s true but they’re also highly valuable and having good manners can go a huge way to making people feel respected by you and to showing that you are grateful for whatever they have done for you. Saying please and thank you, holding the door open for people, offering around tea… all these things make you seem more considerate and they make other people feel good!
Pay Compliments
Paying compliments is an easy way to be more likeable. The key though is not to do this too often and to only choose things that are genuinely true. Look for things people do genuinely really well or that you are impressed with and call attention to them. This will build those people up and it will also make you appear more confident – because if you are giving out compliments it suggests you don’t feel threatened and it suggests that you have knowledge that enables you to make said compliment.
Remember Names
Just like good manners, remembering people’s names makes them feel more important and better respected. This can be hard to do at first but the trick is to find a mnemonic technique that works for you. Perhaps that means associating them with a fictional character or a celebrity, or maybe it means remembering something about their face and tying that into their name. Whatever works, just making the effort can go a long way.
Being Positive
Finally, make sure to always stay positive wherever possible. People who moan or draw attention to negative things make other people feel worse about situations. Positive people help everyone to enjoy themselves and to feel good no matter the circumstances.
How To Be Socially Bulletproof
A lot of success in life will come down to your ability to interact with others and to network. While many of us might like to think that we are islands and that we can go it alone, ultimately life is much more fulfilling and much more augmented with the help of others.
If you want to succeed in business, then having the right partners can create incredibly opportunities. If you want to have great experiences then you need a range of different friends. And if you want to develop your career, then you need to be able to speak with business partners, employers and clients in a way that helps you to come across as impressive and desirable to work with.
The only problem is that not all of us are naturally so inclined. Many of us are introverts and this makes it hard for us to speak in a large group without feeling self conscious or to otherwise be engaging and dynamic. So, what’s the answer?
CBT
The aim is for us to silence the inner critic. And one tool you can use to accomplish this is something called CBT. CBT stands for Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and this is a form of psychotherapeutic intervention that will enable you to change the way your mind works in particular situations.
This begins with a certain amount of self-awareness, called mindfulness. Here, your objective is to learn what kinds of thoughts you have that make it more frightening to speak in public or in groups.
For instance, you might find yourself thinking things like ‘everyone will laugh at me if I say something stupid’ or ‘what if I stutter and can’t get my words out’? As you might imagine, these thoughts don’t exactly inspire confidence and aren’t encouraging. Your job then is to try and remove them from your mind entirely which you can do by using cognitive restructuring.
One part of this process is something called ‘thought challenging which involves looking at these thoughts and then challenging them on grounds of accuracy and relevance. Will people really laugh at you? Chances are not – most people are more polite than that.
And if people do laugh at you? Well then who cares anyway!
Hypothesis Testing
The even more powerful tool within cognitive restructuring though is hypothesistesting. Here you look at the thought and you literally test to see if it’s true. People will laugh if you say something stupid? Well then try it and see for yourself. What you’ll likely find is that it is a little awkward but nothing bad happens. Likewise, try stuttering on purpose or generally being strange.
Not only does this help to disprove the things you were afraid of, but it can also help you to gradually become desensitized to the things you were afraid of. The very best way to do this? Take up stand up comedy classes. You’ll be required to go out on stage and make a fool of yourself regularly and soon you’ll realize that it really doesn’t matter what other people think.
The Art Of Persuasion
Being able to persuade others is a very powerful and useful tool. But it’s something that a lot of people don’t know how to use. And what’s even worse is that this then leaves us vulnerable to others that might be trying to persuade us. Because this can and does happen all the time in advertising, in sales and even in regular interactions with people. So how does persuasion work? In this post you will learn the process for your own ends or defence.
The Value Proposition
The first thing to realize is that people don’t take action of any kind based on logic, but rather based on emotion.
Most things you buy you don’t really need and I’d venture you’ve probably bought things in the past that you haven’t even used. We can find ourselves buying things because they complete a collection, because we like to ‘own them’, or because we like what it says about us. Like I said: emotional.
To take advantage of this, sellers and marketers use something called the value proposition. This is basically the dream that is being sold along with the product, service or whatever else. So the value proposition of a new computer might be that you’ll be more productive, work will be more fun and you’ll look more stylish in your coffee shops.
This is the emotional hook and it’s what persuasive individuals will use in order to get you to consider acting quickly.
More Techniques
Persuasion can then use some additional strategies on top of this to get you to take the plunge. For instance, there is ‘scarcity and rarity’, wherein a seller will make the decision seem urgent by claiming that the product or opportunity will only be available for a limited time. This then persuades the listener or reader to act right away while they are fuelled by the emotion – rather than going away to think about it and likely losing interest during that time.
Likewise, a seller has to fight the emotions that might be working against the target. For instance, if you are concerned that the seller is a fraud then you will not buy due to the risk. The seller can mitigate this with money back guarantees and other similar strategies. They can also appeal to statistics and to expert testimony to back up what they’re saying.
Another great technique is something called pre-suasion. Here, work is done prior to the eventual sales pitch to effectively prime the individual into wanting to buy. Imagine watching a video of someone loving their beautiful car before being sold a car. It makes you much more receptive to the idea.
Now of course you might not be selling something, but all of the same techniques apply. To persuade someone of your point of view, you can still use pre-suasion, you can still use forms of urgency and more. They key though is to find the emotional hook and remember that it is always emotion that ultimately persuades.
How To Develop Charisma Like The Stars
What is it that sets someone like Will Smith or Oprah apart from the rest of us? What is it that makes Dwayne The Rock Johnson, or the Obamas so engaging to watch?
It comes down to their charisma. Whether you like their movies or their politics, there’s no denying that these figures became as popular as they did because of their undeniable magnetism. These are people who you want to watch, who you want to look up to and who you want to listen to. But what is it about them that makes them so watchable? The answer is charisma but what is charisma? How can you quantify it? And more to the point, how can you get some for yourself?
Breaking Down Charisma
There are many different facets to charisma but the one we’re going to look at in particular is the way you communicate and convey your emotion.
A study found that the more a person gesticulate while talking and the more they move around the space they’re in, the more we consider them to be charismatic.
So why is this? The best guess of the researchers is that in behaving that way, you are showing emotional congruence. That is to say that what you are saying and your body language back each other up. This in turn suggests that you really believe in what you’re saying and at the same time it makes the scene more dynamic and engaging to watch.
They say that communication is around 70% non-verbal. So, if you tell someone how passionate you are about your new idea, or if you tell someone how your plans are going to change the world, then you really need to not be standing with your arms crossed. Someone who is truly excited should be moving around and if you’re not, then you’re going to look like you don’t really care about what you’re saying.
And if you don’t care… then why should anyone else care?
Storytelling
We can also see some of this in storytelling. When you hear someone very charismatic tell a story, you will find that they tend to use a lot of dramatic pauses, that they will put on voices of the characters in their stories and that they’ll make things much more dramatic, dynamic and interactive. They’ll set the scene and even use rhetorical questions.
In doing this, a storyteller is able to help the listener really live the experience they’re being told about. And at the same time, it means that they will be able to feel the emotions that the storyteller is trying to convey.
There are lots of ways to tell ay story but the truly engaging one is the one that contains emotion rather than just fact – and for that, you need to be willing to add a little drama.
This might all sound complex, or perhaps it just sounds like something that doesn’t come naturally to you. The good news is that there is one easy way to help it come naturally: to feel passionately about what you do and what you say.
Rule 101 of Impressing Others
If you want to impress others and make the best possible impression, then there are many different things to consider. However, there is one single rule that should stand above all others – rule 101 of making the right impression. And that rule? Stop actively trying to impress people!
This might sound a little counterintuitive, but the reality is that the more you try to impress someone, the more you will end up putting them off. In this post, we’ll examine why that is and what you should be doing instead.
Why You Should Never Try to Impress
If you begin a conversation with someone and actively try to impress them, then you can rest assured that you are going to end up having quite the opposite effect. Have you ever met someone who described themselves as hilarious or crazy? It probably made your skin crawl… Most of us know that this is something for others to say about us and not for us to say about ourselves.
And that’s what makes it so painful when we hear someone describe themselves that way – it becomes apparent that they lack self-awareness.
Not only that, but when you actively try to impress someone it also sends another message: that you want to impress them!
Why is this a problem? Simple: because the very fact that you want to impress them makes you appear more needy and less confident. By attempting to say the things you think a person wants to hear, you are actually making yourself seem as though you’re just willing to bend over to please anyone – and that’s highly unattractive.
Another problem is that people who try desperately to impress others actually lose their credibility. If someone knows that you are trying to impress them, then the things you say to them might well simply be further attempts at impressing them – rather than genuine things you are saying from the heart.
What to do Instead
Of course, this can be difficult. If we want someone to go out with us or if we’re trying to get a job role, then of course we’ll want to promote our best qualities. So what can you do instead?
The first thing to do is to start measuring yourself by your own standards. Instead of wondering if something you have said or done makes you look or sound good, instead ask yourself if you are proud of it
. Don’t be afraid to use self-deprecating jokes, or to tell someone you think they’re better at something than you. Far from making you look bad, this actually suggests that you are confident enough that you don’t feel the need to constantly prove yourself.
And from there, you then just trust that it will come out in the woodwork and that it will impress the right people.
Did you know that an author will often write background biographies for their characters, even though they never intend for them to be revealed in the films. That’s because this informs their character and comes across in subtle ways. Do the right thing, develop yourself, become impressive. But do it for you. The right people will know.
Be Healthy, Attractive and Confident
Being able to instantly impress anyone is an incredible gift and it can help to create limitless opportunities for you. If you’re someone who makes the right impression on people, you’ll find it’s far easier to walk into jobs, to meet potential partners and even to be given opportunities by those with the means to provide them.
There are many ways to become more attractive in this way but one of the most important is to become physically more attractive and healthy. Healthy people unconsciously appear to have their act together more than people who look like they’re coming apart at the seams. And at the same time, they are instantly more magnetic because they send evolutionary signals that they are capable of providing good DNA and good protection. Sure, you can be impressive if you look pasty, overweight and stressed. But the same mannerisms on someone with lean muscle, white teeth and a truly happy smile will go a lot further. So how do you get to that point?
Sleep One of the most important things you can do for your health that will make you look and sound more confident and attractive, is to sleep more. It’s called beauty sleep for a reason and when you aren’t getting enough, you’ll become dehydrated and washed out, your skin will be slower to heal from wounds and will likely flake. Your hair might fall out. Water retention under your eyes will cause them to look puffy and therefore baggy. Thin areas of skin meanwhile will show veins and you’ll be more stressed. So, if you want to make a good impression, always try to get your eight hours and do whatever you need to in order to make that happen.
Stress Another thing that can make you look much more worn and far less attractive is stress. If you are overly stressed then this can also drain the color from your face, it can cause your expression to change and of course it can affect your sleep and even your diet. One reason that your average celebrity looks so great and is so engaging is that they don’t have a lot of the stresses we have and they have the money to make them go away. If you’re working too long or you hate your job, then know that it’s damaging your health, your looks and the impressions you make on others.
Muscle Tone Developing more muscle tone is one of the very best things you can do to develop a more impressive and attractive look. This makes you look stronger and more capable and at the same time helps to make your body look firmer. Your body appears capable of backing up the things you’re saying and it will even fill your clothes more effectively. The Rest On top of this you also want healthy, white teeth and whites of your eyes. You should try to get a healthy tan and you should eat a diet rich in nutrients to avoid flaking skin and hair. Exfoliate and look after yourself and if you get it all right, you’ll be glowing by the end!
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How to Impress Anyone and Become Instantly More Attractive
No stones are left unturned when you get your hands on this now. You will become a complete expert at Impressing Anyone and Become Instantly More Attractive, and you'll get everything you need inside to do the same.
Here's Just A Quick Preview Of What You'll Discover Inside...
- It's Not Who You Know
- Get Ready for Opportunity
- Impressing
- The Cardinal Rule of Impressiveness
- Tip of the Iceberg
- Listening
- Of Action
- Confidence and Adaptability
- On Becoming Socially Bulletproof
- Social Chameleon
- Keeping Calm
- Attractiveness and Charisma
- How to Pick People Up
- Charisma
- Likability
- More Ways to Increase Your Likability
- Communication and Building Connections
- Building Rapport and Going Deeper
- The Art of Communication
- Presentation
- Conventionally Irresistible
- Designing Your Impression
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